A few years ago when I was still fairly new to solution focused therapy and just starting my training it occurred to me that particular year I would add in a couple of personal messages, compliments or appreciations in my daughter’s advent calendar which was a yearly home-made tradition since she was 4 years old. My thinking at the time was that I would see how “appreciations” would have an impact on her behaviour. I recognise now that in my inexperience and with hindsight I was probably aiming to re enforce “Good” behaviour and therefore had my own agenda and not entirely following the tenants of solution focused practice.
What an interesting blog, Anne. I love the idea of being kind instead of the usual commercial expectations and I admire your determination to keep going even though you had those little doubts about how others may receive them. I sincerely hope the 'pass it on' influence continues. I seem to be someone that naturally compliments others, and I sometimes wonder if people think I'm creepy! But, happily, more and more people are being encouraged to compliment strangers and I experienced this myself once when buying a coffee the barista lady complimented my hair. I remember thinking it was bizarre and unusual. I had to literally scold myself and tell myself NO it's not strange may be unusual, but that was very nice (kind) of her! Let's be KIND. It such a beautiful human quality. Dora xx